Conquering Parenthood: 5 Essential Tips for Child Birth and Bringing New Baby Home

Hey everyone, Robert, here! Today, I want to share with you an incredibly personal and powerful story, our experience birthing and bringing home our second child, Hazen Wilder Sikes! This episode is special, not just because it's episode 800 of our podcast, but because it dives deep into the raw, real emotions and moments of labor, delivery, and postpartum life.

Crystal, my amazing wife, joins me to talk all about her natural VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean), the challenges she faced with a cervical lip during pushing, and how we navigated the early days with our new baby while balancing life with our first son, Rigel. Whether you're a first-time parent, a VBAC hopeful, or just curious about birth stories, this one's for you.

Our Nursing Gear and Baby Life

Before I dive into the birth story, I have to give a shout-out to Crystal's new nursing shirts. We call them "concealed carry breastfeeding tops," which is pretty funny because they look like shirts designed for concealed carry weapons, but for boobs instead! She got them on Amazon, and they come with a little side pocket for easy access. With Hazen being a hungry baby, "a hungry hippo," as she puts it, these shirts have been a lifesaver.

Compared to when Rigel was a baby, the nursing routine is a bit different. Crystal could just wear a tank top and a shirt over it, and easily lift the shirt for feeding Rigel. But with Hazen, she needed something more convenient and discreet, so these shirts were a perfect fit.

Waiting for Labor: The Longest 41 Weeks and 4 Days

Our journey started with some anxiety and anticipation. Crystal was officially 40 weeks pregnant when we last recorded, but Hazen didn't decide to come until 41 weeks and 4 days. That extra week plus almost 5 days felt like forever!

During that time, Crystal had cut back on weight training and focused more on stretching, mobility work, and a set of movements called "the three sisters" (though that name might have changed). These included inversions, side-lying stretches, lunges, squats, and walking to encourage the baby to move into the right position for birth.

Unlike Rigel, who was in a face-presentation and posterior position (which caused us to have an emergency c-section), Hazen was head down and in a good position. However, he hadn't engaged yet, meaning his head hadn't settled deep into the pelvis. This is common with second babies, who often don't engage until labor actually starts.

July Fourth: Fireworks, Family, and the Start of Labor

On July 4th, we had family over, grilled steaks, and bought fireworks to celebrate. The night was filled with excitement and some nerves because Crystal was feeling those first signs of labor.

Crystal kept telling me, "We're having a baby, like, today or tomorrow." I admit I wasn't fully taking the hint, even though she was getting anxious and wanting me to be home and ready. The hospital bags weren't fully packed yet on my end, though Crystal's were packed weeks prior (she's always prepared)!

During the fireworks, Crystal was taking a bath to relax, but I could hear her moaning through the phone speaker. That was my first real sign that things were ramping up. After some time, she moved to the bedroom, and we kept shooting off fireworks outside while she labored inside.

The Early Labor and Calling the Doula

Labor started around 4 PM, and those early contractions were intense, 50 seconds to a minute long and only 2 to 3 minutes apart. Crystal described it as feeling like the contractions were "on top of each other." She texted our doula, Jack, who encouraged her to relax and not panic, reminding us about prodromal labor, a kind of false labor that can last a long time and tire you out before real labor begins.

At first, Crystal was anxious and trying to get everything done. Once she relaxed, she realized she was fully in labor. I called Jack for guidance as Crystal was moaning and couldn't really talk. Jack reassured us and said she'd probably see us later that night.

Preparing for the Hospital and Timing the Departure

We had a game plan for the kids: I would take Rigel to bed while Crystal's sister Heather helped her get ready. But then Heather came in and told me, "Crystal wants to go to the hospital now." At that moment, Crystal was sitting on the toilet, which is actually a great position for labor because it helps relax the pelvic floor and makes dilation easier.

She felt like she was pushing already, and her sister confirmed it. We were about an hour and ten minutes away from the hospital, so we loaded up and headed out, with me carefully navigating back roads to avoid bumps that made things uncomfortable for Crystal. We barely played any music, just me listening to Crystal moaning through contractions the whole way.

Arrival and Early Labor at the Hospital

We arrived at the hospital at 11:05 PM, and Jack the doula met us there. Crystal got into a bathroom stall and immediately wanted to get back on the toilet. The hospital staff were amazing. One nurse held the fetal monitor in place so Crystal could move freely, and our midwife, Sarah Beth, was calm, confident, and supportive throughout.

Crystal loved the squatting position, and the hospital had a blow-up squat device that helped her stay comfortable. She pushed hard for about an hour and a half, but then hit a roadblock; a cervical lip was preventing the baby's head from descending fully.

Fighting the Cervical Lip and Exhaustion

The cervical lip is a part of the cervix that doesn't dilate fully and can block the baby's passage. It can get swollen and inflamed from pushing, which often leads to epidurals or c-sections. But Crystal was determined to avoid both.

Our midwife had Crystal roll onto her stomach and sides for 20-25 minutes each to help the lip move. This was the hardest part for Crystal, fighting her body's natural pushing while trying to relax to reduce swelling. It was exhausting, painful, and mentally challenging.

She even dozed off between contractions, praying for strength. The midwife's encouragement and expertise kept us going, and after an hour of these positions, Crystal was ready for the final push.

The Final Push and The Ring of Fire

When the baby's head finally started to come through, Crystal described the "ring of fire", the intense burning sensation as the skin stretched to let the baby out. It was painful, but also the moment we had been waiting for.

Crystal refused laughing gas, wanting to stay fully present and natural. The midwife helped by pushing the cervical lip out of the way, which was painful but necessary. Crystal pushed with everything she had, using a bar to pull against and focusing on muscle contractions like doing a rowing motion.

After about two hours of pushing, Hazen's head appeared, and I got ready to catch him. The midwife carefully twisted his head to find the shoulders, and then I caught him and flipped him upside down to help him breathe. He didn't scream like Rigel but gave a gentle cough, and his heart rate was perfect the whole time.

Post-Birth and Recovery

We put Hazen on Crystal's chest immediately, but they had to quickly clamp and cut the cord because Crystal was hemorrhaging. She lost about 700 ml of blood, more than average for a vaginal birth but less than a c-section. The placenta was healthy and thick, a testament to Crystal's great diet and preparation.

Crystal had a first-degree tear and some small lacerations, which took longer to heal than the main tear. The stitching took longer than expected, and the midwife had to push on Crystal's fundus to stop the bleeding, which felt like a lot of fluid coming out.

After the delivery, we moved to a postpartum room. We stayed there most of Saturday and Sunday, barely sleeping because we just wanted to be with Hazen.

Adjusting to Life with Two Kids

Bringing Hazen home has been amazing but also challenging. Rigel has been a great big brother, though he's more hyperactive and mischievous when visitors are around. Balancing attention between the two kids is a new adventure for us.

Healing from this birth has been tougher than my c-section, mainly because of the swelling and the intense pushing. Crystal is taking it easy, resting when Rigel naps, and focusing on recovery while managing a busy household.

Reflections on Natural Labor and VBAC

Crystal's VBAC experience was everything we hoped for despite the challenges. The hardest part was definitely the cervical lip at the end, but natural labor without medication wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Pushing gave her relief, and the support from our midwife, doula, and nurses was incredible.

For anyone considering a VBAC or natural birth, Crystal recommends the VBAC Link podcast and Facebook group. They offer supportive, positive stories from people who have been through similar journeys.

Final Thoughts

Having Hazen has been the hardest but most rewarding thing Crystal and I have done. It's amazing to know him now, to have been there for every moment of his arrival, and to start this new chapter as a family of four.

If you want to hear more birth stories, parenting tips, or health and fitness advice, be sure to check out our podcast and subscribe!

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Episode Chapters:

Chapters:

0:00 Parenthood, Challenges, and Lessons Learned  

1:56 Hayzen's Birth Story and Reflections on Rigel as a Big Brother  

5:26 Why an Emergency C-Section Was Necessary and How It Unfolded  

10:38 Tip #1: Managing Prodromal Labor and Staying Focused  

15:53 Smooth Hospital Admission and Preparing for Labor  

20:38 Overcoming Labor Challenges: Pushing, Positions, and Exhaustion  

27:48 Tip #2: Staying Calm Through Delivery and Support's Impact  

32:48 Postpartum Recovery: Umbilical Cord, Tears, and Adjustments  

37:38 Tip #3: Sleepless Newborn Nights and Navigating SIDS Concerns  

42:22 Tip #4: Breastfeeding Triumphs and Embracing Natural Parenting  

47:30 Family Adjustments: Handling Sibling Dynamics and Visitors  

51:04 Tip #5: VBAC Support and Crystal's New Partnership